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Communication

10 Keys to Becoming Psychologically Savvy

Are these 10 psychological understandings enhancing your well-being? Read More

The Joy of Blogging: Applause without the Burdens of Fame

On the relationship between bloggers and readers that makes readership better than fame. Read More

Why Am I Still Single? A Quiz

What can you do to increase the odds that you will succeed in selecting a mate and sealing the deal? Read More

Want to Be More Persuasive? Use The Right Body Part First!

All people from time to time find themselves in a situation in which they want someone to see it their way. To be maximally persuasive, skip the sweet-talking, forget being insistent, and avoid all debating. Instead… Read More

What’s All This Talk About Couple “Communication Skills?”

We all know how to talk. So why do couples therapists teach “communication skills” to couples that are having relationship troubles? Read More

Fighting About Money? Beware!

When couples fight about money, they are moving forward on a high risk road. Danger ahead. Read More

How Does Communication Flow in your Relationships?

Water, traffic and words all flow. When the flow is laminar, that is, smooth, the interactions feel cooperative. Blockage and turbulence in the flow of speech signal that cooperation has broken down, replaced by listening blockages and adversarilal stances. Read More

Are You Agitating or Thinking?

How is it that some people seem to be able to think through problems in a way that leads to creative solutions while others just get increasingly agitated and anxious? The key may lie in one little three-letter word. Read More

How to Express Feelings… and How Not to

Expressing feelings enables us to think through and move on from troubling negative emotions. It also brings us closer to those with whom we share these feelings. On the other hand, mistakes in how we express these feelings (like saying “You make me feel…”) bring on the opposite effect. This particular phrase pushes people away and makes matters worse. Read More

What Makes Conflict? How Are Conflicts Resolved?

Conflicts create bad feelings like irritation, frustration, anger, anxiety and depression. Left to fester, the situation about which people are in conflict are likely to create worse feelings over time. Learn the 3-step pathway from conflict to resolution and your life will feel far easier, happier and more peaceful.Read More

Skip the Criticism Altogether. Give Feedback Instead.

The notion of constructive criticism is bogus. Criticism stings. Instead, give feedback. That’s more useful and generally painless. Can you tell the difference? Here’s three examples to test out your ear. Read More

Emotional IQ Alone Is Not Enough For Marriage Success

Emotional IQ is to marriage what athletic talent is to sports. Emotional IQ indicates talent in the realm of relationships. Talent helps. But talent alone does not lead to great performance as a husband or wife. You also need to develop strong marriage communication and conflict resolution skills.Read More

Icebreakers 101: Seven Tips for Getting to Know Anyone Anywhere

I can vouch for this getting-to-know-folks strategy having just returned from my husband’s 45th college reunion where I knew virtually no one. Read More

Clear Needless Emotional Clutter From Your Relationships

Clearing your language of these five needlessly provocative words and short phrases can have a surprisingly positive impact on your relationships.Read More

Sexual Intercourse and Talking Together: What’s the Same?

What could sex and talking together possibly have in common? Lots…. Read More

10 Ways To Radiate Positivity And Be Attractive

Positive leaders are upbeat to talk with. They feel “warm.” Whether they are your boss, your employee or colleague, your friend, family members or loved ones; these folks feel safe to share with, and, like sunshine, radiate good vibes. Their positivity makes you want to talk with them more because they’ve set good vibes as a relationship standard. Read More

Lessons from the Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Divorce

Katie Holmes’ divorce from Tom Cruise caught many folks by surprise. Here’s one analysis of how marriages come apart. Read More

Marriage: 8 Dangerously Wrong Conventional Wisdoms

Mistaken advice about marriage can have potent impacts. Beware especially of these relationship-wreckers. Read More

How Technological Distractions Destroy Connections

There’s many signs, including absurdly broad usage of antidepressants, that college students these days seem to be struggling emotionally. I recently forwarded the link to a particularly worrisome PT posting about depression on college campuses to an Ivy League student friend of mine. Here’s what he wrote back to me. Read More

Skip the Criticism Altogether. Give Feedback Instead.

The notion of constructive criticism is bogus. Criticism stings. Instead, give feedback. That’s more useful and generally painless. Can you tell the difference? Here’s three examples to test out your ear. Read More

What Went Wrong? How Men and Women Differ in their Decision-Making Glitches

Men rush for the finish line. Women explore, communicating about various underlying concerns. And therein lies the struggle. Read More

The Art of Disagreeing Agreeably

Do you avoid conflict? Feel reluctant to offer differing opinions? Do you err on the other side, disagreeing often and inadvertently making yourself unpleasant to talk with? This triple A (AAA) strategy for expressing disagreement can enable you to share your differing viewpoints in a way that keeps your relationships harmonious. Read More

Get Off on the Right Foot So Your Viewpoints Won’t Get Left Out

Feeling like your voice does not get taken seriously? It’s frustrating to feel ignored and also to receive automatic no’s from your associates. Here’s six effective sentence-starters, for use at home or at work. A good start increases the odds that folks will pay attetion to your perspective. Read More

A Plan for Zero Arguments

Exit strategies work best when they have been designed mutually, and when they have been carefully created prior to the emotionally upsetting situation. Plan your exit routines now using this checklist. Then your plan will be ready for action next time you need to avert a clash. Read More

The Art of Listening: How Open Are Your Ears?

How would you rate yourself as a lover? Rate yourself on your listening skills to assess how well you can connect with a partner. Here’s a self-assessment quiz that zeros in on the five key listening skills for gratifying relationships at work and at home. Read More

Does Compatibility Predict Marriage Success?

Turns out that who shall stay married and who shall divorce depends on skills for staying cooperative. Take drivers ed to stay safe when you drive. Take marriage ed to stay safe when you marry. Read More

Four Ways to Assure You Won’t Get What You Want, at Work or at Home

Here’s four ways that are likey to create bad feelings with work colleagues. They can also help you lose your job, end your love relationships, and wreck your holidays. Read More

Solve Tough Dilemmas With the Win-Win Waltz

Differences are inevitable within any partnership, at work or at home. To settle conflicts with resolutions you both feel really good about, use this worksheet to guide you through the three steps of the win-win waltz. Then you can always be a winner. Read More

How Does Communication Flow in your Relationships?

Water, traffic and words all flow. When the flow is laminar, that is, smooth, the interactions feel cooperative. Blockage and turbulence in the flow of speech signal that cooperation has broken down, replaced by listening blockages and adversarilal stances. Read More

How Does Communication Flow in Your Relationships?

Communication is the flow of information in relationships. Information flows between people just like water flows in nature’s streams. Smooth laminar flow is good. Bumpy turbulence causes problems. Read More

Mistakes, Mishaps, Miscommunications? Game’s Not Over

Most people don’t mean to hurt others feelings, yet from time to time we mistakenly do. When glitches come to your attention, do you get embarrassed? Defensive? Better to repay the emotional debt you incurred. Here’s a recipe for apologies that can wipe the debt clean, and even turn your mistake into a nourishing relationship moment. Read More

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