Rose Medical Center
4500 E. 9th Ave. #660
Denver, CO 80220


Looking for answers to marriage challenges, solutions that you can implement right away?

For starters, here is a list of some of Dr. Heitler’s particularly popular marriage  articles.

Love: 13 Reasons Why It May Not Lead to Marriage

Statistics, speculations and suggestions on the causes of the epidemic of singleness spreading over our country, and how to combat it.   Read More

Marriage: the Ultimate Collaborative Venture

I believe in marriage.

Marriage opens the doors to many of life’s most rewarding blessings, from sharing coffee in the morning to sharing a bed at night.  In my opinion marriage is one of life’s ultimate privileges and the core structure of a stable society.

What exactly is marriage?

Legally it is a partnership contract.  Emotionally, marriage commits you to comingling your lives—side by side, hand in hand, heart to heart.  When you agree to marry, you commit to joining forces for purposes of housing, finances, children, sex, leisure, fostering each other’s realizations as individuals, digesting disappointments, celebrating triumphs—together writing the music of your lives.…

What is the Power of Two?

In mathematics, when you multiply a number by itself, you raise it to the power of two.  As opposed to addition, where adding a number to itself merely doubles it, raising a number to the power of two causes exponential growth.  For example, 10 + 10 = 20, but 10 x 10 = 100.

A similar increase happens in a healthy marriage.  Read More….


Options for the Unhappily Married

Country music group Pistol Annies poignantly sings about how marriage can become a trap. At the same time, the words suggest ways to open the trap and find routes to happiness, Read More


Marriage Arguments: Can All Conflicts Be Resolved?

Marriage involves living life in partnership, which inevitably creates conflicts. Can all these conflicts be resolved? Two leading marriage psychologists, Gottman and Heitler, attempt to resolve their opposing views on this issue. Read More

Beware if you self-diagnose marriage problems.

Fighting About Money? Beware!

When couples fight about money, they are moving forward on a high risk road. Danger ahead.   Read More

A Big Family: Does Number of Sibs Impact Divorce Risk?

A recent study suggests an interesting relationship between the size of the family a child grows up within and the likelihood that in adulthood that child will end up divorced. Read More

What Domestic Batterers Can Teach Us About Terrorism

Home is where we learn the fundamentals for becoming citizens of a democracy. Cultures that tolerate child and spousal abuse are at risk for breeding bullies, tyrants and and terrorism. By contrast families with skills for cooperative parenting and partnering train young people to value and succeed in a democracy. Read More


Weddings are just the start. Marriage success takes communication skills.

Happy Marriage, Happy Life

For many folks the choice is clear. Far better to invest in continously building strong love habits than to risk losing your marriage. Here’s a checkup to be sure you’re keeping your marriage in tip-top condition. Read More


Why Affairs Tempt Us, And How to Prevent Them

The two most likely candidates for affairs are old flames and work associates. Most affairs occur because naïve partners slide into sexual situations they can’t handle. Given the potency of sexual feelings with a new partner, policies for protection from their pull are key to prevention of inadvertent infidelities. Learn about gerbils to understand why. Read More


Do More Things Bring Less Love?

Recent research suggests that stylish clothes and a big house may indicate that the person inside the showy clothes and home is at risk for narcissism, marriage problems, and less happiness. It may be though that upgrading your marriage communication skills can let you have it all. Read More


Age-Gap Couples in the Twilight Zone

Couples with a large chronilogical age difference may initially feel very similar in terms of emotional age. Still, they are likely to face logistical challenges vis a vis their life-stage differences. She may be eager for children, when he’s wanting to visit the grandkids. How will the age differences affect them twenty years later? Read More


The Art of Listening: How Open Are Your Ears?

How would you rate yourself as a lover? Rate yourself on your listening skills to assess how well you can connect with a partner. Here’s a self-assessment quiz that zeros in on the five key listening skills for gratifying relationships at work and at home. Read More


Want Marriage Problems? Expect Your Spouse to Be Perfect

Odds are that if you have a tendency to criticize your spouse, you mistakenly have been expecting perfection. Big mistake. Read More


Stress in Relationships: 10 Sources and Their Antidotes

Stressful circumstances inevitably, from time to time, land on every couple’s doorstep. It’s what happens next that make stress either shrink or grow. Read More


How to Love: A 5-Part Action Plan

To fall in love is a passive act. To sustain love takes actions. Read More


How To Prevent Your Marriage From Making You Depressed

Can marriage cause depression? See these 9 research findings for both the good and the bad news. Read More


What Increases Marriage Satisfaction?

Does perfect love result in a perfect marriage of two spouses who “live happily ever after?” Not so says forthright and funny journalist Elizabeth Weil, author of the newly released marriage-upgrade saga No Cheating, No Dying. And according to recent marriage research, that kind of perfection is not even desirable. Read More


How To Get An Ex Back: 5 Essential Steps

A large proportion of my clients are couples on the brink of a final ending. After drifting through years of distancing and fighting, the couple has separated. The couple is quickly heading downstream toward the waterfall of a permanent break-up or divorce. Is there any way at this point to save their love from splitting apart forever? Read More


Skip the Criticism Altogether. Give Feedback Instead.

The notion of constructive criticism is bogus. Criticism stings. Instead, give feedback. That’s more useful and generally painless. Can you tell the difference? Here’s three examples to test out your ear. Read More



Marriage: 6 Guidelines from Ancient Wisdom Texts

Traditional Jewish texts abound with teachings about how to create healthy marriage partnerships. Here’s a sampling of six. Read More


Are You Falling Out of Love? A Quiz on 10 Warning Signs

 Falling out of love has become the number one cause listed for divorce, at least according to a study in England. It’s trumping even affairs and abuse in terms of frequency. The good news is that falling out of love is something you can prevent. How? Read More


Boundaries, Privacy and Intimacy Are Partly Culturally Determined

 When couples start with different cultural backgrounds, their his-way, her-way expectations can lead to misunderstandings and quarrels. Differing views about the about boundaries between what should be kept private and what are legitimately public aspects of their lives can prove especially sensitive. Read More


Mad Enough to Tell Someone to ‘Take a Hike!’ ?

Lo and behold, the old expression of anger ‘Go take a hike!’ turns out to be good advice. Read More

The Deceptive Power of Love’s First Moments

Infatuation feels great. Enjoy it. Just be sure though to go beyond initial chemistry to a thoughtful decision before you agree to say “I do.” Read More

Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage?

More thanks, praise and appreciation make for a more gratifying relationship. Here’s how and why. Read More

10 Ways To Radiate Positivity And Be Attractive

Positive leaders are upbeat to talk with. They feel “warm.” Whether they are your boss, your employee or colleague, your friend, family members or loved ones; these folks feel safe to share with, and, like sunshine, radiate good vibes. Their positivity makes you want to talk with them more because they’ve set good vibes as a relationship standard. Read More

Marriage: 8 Dangerously Wrong Conventional Wisdoms

Mistaken advice about marriage can have potent impacts. Beware especially of these relationship-wreckers. Read More

Clear Needless Emotional Clutter From Your Relationships

Clearing your language of these five needlessly provocative words and short phrases can have a surprisingly positive impact on your relationships. Read More

Valentine Day’s Thoughts on Love and Marriage

Smartmarriages founder Diane Sollee shares some of her favorite quotes on love and marriage. There’s no time like Valentine’s Day to think about what you can do to make your love relationship all the more positive. Read More

Baby Come and Light My Fire…

Striking a match can light a candle. Initial sparks can help to kindle a blaze. So too with lighting sexual fires, which in turn help to keep marital affection warmly loving. What mutual actions can couples take to ignite their sexual energies? Read More

Is Your Relationship Toolkit Sufficient?

Studies continue to show that marriage education courses significantly upgrade a couple’s chances of enjoying a long and strong relationship. With effective apology, emotional self-regulation, communication and conflict resolution skills, couple partnerships are more likely to thrive. Read More

Self-Diagnosing Your Marriage Problems? Beware!

Eric Clapton’s famed song suggests “Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.” To diagnose and fix problems that come up in your marriage, sit down and look inward instead of pointing fingers at your spouse’s errors. Read More

How Effective Is Your Marriage Therapy?

If you and your spouse have had some tough times and turned for help to a couples counselor, how can you assess if the therapy is genuinely helping? Many folks in couples counseling are uncertain as to what to use as a measuring stick. Whether the therapist is “a nice person” is not sufficient. Try this quiz instead. Read More

Emotional IQ Alone Is Not Enough For Marriage Success

Emotional IQ is to marriage what athletic talent is to sports. Emotional IQ indicates talent in the realm of relationships. Talent helps. But talent alone does not lead to great performance as a husband or wife. You also need to develop strong marriage communication and conflict resolution skills. Read More

The Woman Who Saved Marriage

One woman’s dedication to the idea of marriage education reversed America’s rising divorce rates and may have saved the institution of marriage. Read More

From Thin-Skin to Win-Win: How Couples Counseling Helps

Are you and your loved one living the opposite of happily ever after? If your partnership is yielding fear, resentment or anger, maybe it’s time to reverse the trend. Couples counseling can help. How do therapists convert a relationship that generates fear and frustration to one that feels safe, supportive and enriching? Read More

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